From Ashes to Radiance: Reclaiming Myself After Loss, Trauma, and Spiritual Emergency

By Sorina Iliana - psychologist, bioenergy healer and trauma coach

There comes a moment in life when everything familiar crumbles. For me, it wasn’t one isolated event. It was a slow unraveling, followed by an implosion, followed by silence. A silence so deep it echoed through every cell of my being.

This is the story of how I lost everything I thought I was—my teacher, my thriving business, my health, my sense of self—and how I slowly, painfully, beautifully began to reclaim it all through the flames. This is my phoenix story.

I write this not as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who has walked through fire and is still rising. Still softening. Still becoming.

Over the past months, I’ve manifested more than I dared hope for: I became a psychologist, I hired a powerful business coach, I manifested an angel investor who believes in my mission, aligned friendships, community support, and over 10,000 euros in new sales. I’ve recommitted to my body and my strength. And I’ve made a decision that changed everything—I’m dedicating the next two years to deeply specialize in trauma psychology through two international certifications and to travel the world on sacred initiatory journeys—to India, to Bali, and to Tibet—just as Aurora once did.

This isn’t just healing. This is homecoming.

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THE LOSS TRAUMA

The first deep wound came with the loss of my teacher—Aurora Sitarușa, the creator of the SIMRA energy healing technique. She was more than a mentor. She was the origin point of my spiritual lineage, my anchor, my mirror, and my fiercest guide.

Aurora had been initiated in Tibet by monks and received the final level of Prananadi under the blessing of the Dalai Lama. Her energy was vast, magnetic, full of divine memory. When she returned to Romania, she synthesized everything she had learned into SIMRA—a unique healing system that combined the sacredness of Prananadi, the structure of Reiki, the quantum recalibration of The Reconnection, and her own embodied mastery.

At just 23, I became one of her four closest students and the youngest SIMRA master in the world. I wore that title with reverence. But nothing could prepare me for what followed.

Aurora became ill. The woman who healed others effortlessly began to lose her sight, her mobility, her life force. She could not heal herself this time. I watched her fade, powerless, confused, and ultimately—devastated.

When she passed, something in me shattered. My foundation crumbled. My grief wasn’t just emotional—it was energetic. It was cellular. It unrooted everything I had built.

And that’s when the unraveling began.

Soon after, I experienced a profound spiritual emergency—a full-blown psychotic episode masked as awakening. What started as mystical insights turned into terrifying delusions. I believed I was being followed, targeted, tested by invisible forces. I thought my ex was a spy. I thought I was dying. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. My nervous system was in flames.

I lost everything: my contracts (some worth up to 24,000 euros), my independence, my home, my mental clarity. I moved back in with my mother. I felt like an imposter, like a ghost of the woman I once was.

But the fire hadn’t consumed me completely. Not yet.

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THE SPIRITUAL EMERGENCY

Psychosis is a word that still stings. But I’ve come to see it differently.

For many, spiritual emergency is a rupture in reality that the soul initiates when the ego structure collapses. For me, it was a complete breakdown of the known—accompanied by the birth of something too big to contain.

What no one told me is that after the visions and the insights come the integration. And no one helped me with that.

I ended up on medication. It grounded me, yes, but it numbed me too. I stopped dreaming. I stopped crying. I stopped feeling—and yet I was expected to go on.

But inside, I was searching. And what I found—again—was SIMRA.

This modality wasn’t just my profession. It was my lifeline.

SIMRA is sacred technology. It’s energy surgery for the soul. As I began practicing again—on myself, quietly, gently—I began remembering. Rebuilding. Re-centering. I combined SIMRA with psychology. I worked with my breath, my body, my subconscious. I started my psychology degree. I studied trauma. I explored NLP. And slowly, the flames started forging me instead of burning me.

That was the rebirth.

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THE BODY, THE SHAME, THE MIRRORS

When trauma settles, it settles in the body.

I gained weight. I lost energy. I had days of deep, dark depression and nights in which i would sleep over 13 hours, dreading to wake up. I avoided mirrors. I felt unrecognizable—like my body was a costume I didn’t belong in anymore.

And yet, beneath the shame, there was wisdom. My body had protected me. It had held my trauma when I couldn’t. It deserved compassion—not punishment.

I began working somatically, using SIMRA on my organs, on my fat cells, on my womb. I learnt a shamanic tehnique called Munay Ki. I used mirror work. I forgave myself. I stopped dieting and started relating. I honored my hunger. I honored my sadness. I gave myself touch, breath, light.

And I stopped hiding.

Today, I’m lighter—not just in weight, but in spirit. I’ve lost 4kg and gained a thousand new reasons to love myself.

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REBUILDING SUCCESS –

They say success is a mindset. I say it’s an energy field.

After the breakdown, I started again. Slowly. I offered a single session. Then a package. Then a course. I launched again. I fell again. I cried again. But I kept showing up.

And then it happened: I manifested an angel investor. I found the perfect

business coach. I sold over 10,000 euros in new services. I signed aligned clients. I rebuilt my confidence.

Through NLP, I rewired my scarcity beliefs. Through SIMRA, I recalibrated my vibration. Through trauma work, I restructured my inner safety.

This is the alchemy of service.

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THE PHOENIX CODES –

What does it mean to become the phoenix?

It means to let yourself die—not physically, but psychologically. To burn identities. To surrender old stories. To rise not as who you were, but as who you are.

In SIMRA, we teach that there are three energetic initiations:

DEATH: the collapse of the old

DESCENT: the underworld of integration

RESURRECTION: the return in divine power

I lived each one.

And I made a vow to myself: the legacy I am building will be hundreds of times bigger than everything I've lost.

My body is becoming the best shape of my life. My mind has become my safest place. My soul remembers its path.

I truly feel that my best is yet to come. This pain, combined with my education and certifications, has given me the capacity to hold sacred space—for the deepest grief, the most painful sorrow, the most devastating crisis.

I am here to support you. I rose from the ashes not just as a woman, but as a wiser mentor, facilitator, and space holder.

Phoenix Breathwork Practice:

Sit comfortably with a straight spine.

Inhale for a count of 4 (imagine light filling your lungs).

Hold for a count of 4 (anchor in your power).

Exhale for a count of 6 (release grief through the mouth).

Repeat for 9 rounds.

Whisper: “I rise again.”

NLP Activation – Anchor Your Phoenix Self:

1. Recall a time you felt truly powerful.

2. Close your eyes and relive it—sight, sound, feeling.

3. When the emotion peaks, press your thumb and middle finger together.

4. Say: “This is who I am when I rise.”

5. Repeat for 3 different memories.

This is your phoenix code. Come back to it every time you forget

Here, I’ll guide you through:

The metaphysics of fire and soul

The psychology of rebirth

Phoenix Breathwork (instructions)

NLP Anchor for Activation (step-by-step)

This is the portal.

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RITUAL

The Ritual of Reclamation

Find a sacred space. Light a candle. Play soft music. Breathe.

1. Open the Ritual with Intention: Speak aloud your intention to heal, to reclaim, and to rise.

2. Write a Letter to Your Grief: Let it speak. Let it scream. Let it be witnessed.

3. Heart Chakra Healing:

Place your hand over your heart.

Visualize emerald green light flowing into your chest.

Breathe gently into your heart space and say: “I forgive. I let go. I love.”

4. Transmute Confusion into Clarity:

Imagine the fog in your mind becoming a clear blue sky.

Say aloud: “I now see clearly. My path is open.”

5. Mold the Clay of Your Being:

Close your eyes and visualize your soul as a sculpture you are molding.

Say: “I remember who I am.”

6. Solar Plexus Reclamation:

Bring attention to your belly.

Visualize a golden light radiating from your solar plexus.

This light forms into a glowing sphere.

Inside the sphere, place the 3 most important things you desire right now.

Feel these desires magnetizing toward you.

Whisper: “What I want wants me back.”

7. Throat Chakra Activation:

Focus on your throat.

Feel a sapphire-blue light expanding.

Say aloud: “I speak my truth. I own my voice. I honor my expression.”

Sing. Speak. Scream, if needed.

Let your voice become a bridge between the old you and the new.

I am right here with you.

8. Close the Ritual:

Bow to yourself.

Whisper: “I am home.”

Blow out the candle with gratitude.

This is your rebirth. Welcome to your next chapter.

You are not alone. You are not late. You are not too far gone.

You are the fire. You are the ash. You are the rising.

I hope my story reminds you of your own power. Of your own worth. Of your own light.

If you’re ready to begin—or begin again—I’m here.

With love, light and unicorns Sorina

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If you feel called to, join us in :

Phoenix Rising: Your 1:1 path

SIMRA Initiation: Become the Healer

Membership: Quantum Alchemy Coaching Circle